Michele Borba Blog: Fun ways to get kids to write thank yous (and why they should)

Michele Borba Blog: Fun ways to get kids to write thank yous (and why they should)

Posted: December 27th, 2009 by Michele Borba

Did you know that writing a “thank you” note is a simple, proven way to boost your child’s gratitude? That’s what researchers from the University of California at Davis and Southern Methodist University found. But that’s not all—they also discovered that being thankful might be the key to raising your child’s happiness and well-being. For the past ten years two professors, Robert Emmons and Michael McCollugh, have examined date of several hundred people who were involved in their simple gratitude experiments. One ten-week study asked a group to write down five things in a journal they were grateful for that happened in the last week for four days a week. A second group listed ways they were better off than others as a way to appreciate their blessings. The psychologists then looked at the medical and psychological tests of each participant prior to the study, and then again ten weeks later. Those simple gratitude exercises made those participants, feel 24 percent happier. But that’s not all: they were also more optimistic about the future, felt better about their lives, slept better, felt healthier and less stressed, were less materialistic and more likely to help others. And those results were not hard to achieve. Best yet, you can help your child reap some of those results just by encouraging them to write thank yous.

While most of us agree that writing “thank you” cards is a habit of gratitude we should encourage, getting many kids to actually write them –without the whines and complaints — if often a problem. So here are a few fun (and a bit sneaky) tricks to getting your kids to write those notes for this year’s batch of holidays presents.

Set expectations for gratitude. Be clear and upfront this year. Any present–regardless of the price or size–deserves a “thank you” card. If your kids hear those expectations now, they’ll be less likely to put up a battle later.

Enforce the “write then play” rule. Implement one simple family rule: “You must write the thank you note first, and then you may use the gift.” Believe me, that mandate speeds up the writing process.

Set age appropriate guidelines. A young child can dictate his comments and only needs to sign his name. School age kids should use this rule from The Etiquette and Leadership Institute at Athens, Georgia: “The total number of sentences in a thank you note should be half the child’s age.” So a ten-year-old should be expected to write a minimum of five complete sentences.

Turn on kids’ creative juices. Another way to get kids more involved in the “thank you” writing process is to ask them to come up with their own unique way of thanking Grandma. A few creative “thank you” card ideas for kids might include:

Make a video just for that person that expresses appreciation.

Take a photo of the child wearing or using the gift. The developed four-by-six inch print makes an instant postcard; the child just writes a brief note on the back and addresses and mails it.