Michele Borba

REALITY CHECK: The Josephson Institute of Ethics survey results of over 30,000 high school students involving over 100 high schools – both private and public—show dismal results: Cheating is rampant in schools, and is only getting worse. Sixty four percent of students admit to cheating on a test in the past year; 38 percent did so two or more times. (That’s up 60% and 35% from the 2006 survey). Thirty six percent say they used the Internet to plagiarize an assignment (that’s up 33 percent since 2004). Another survey found that 95 percent of kids say they’re never been caught.

The report card on our children’s character is in and it appears many are flunking.But there is another troubling youth trend as well: Stealing is increasing (30 percent of all students surveyed admitted they stole at least once from a store) and their attitudes about their deceptions are even more disturbing. Over 93 percent of students say they are satisfied with their personal ethics. We need to turn this trend around and A.S.A.P. Here are important clues you need to know about today’s cheating epidemic as well as ways to stop it.

The cheating issue has become “mainstream.” It’s prevalent in private as well as public schools, and every demographic. But there certainly is a “moral” component to the cheating epidemic and research from Ohio State University sheds important information. Students who score higher on measures of courage, empathy and honesty are less likely to cheat. If we could learn anything from this study it is that we should be stretching our kids’ honesty quotient, and pronto.

Though there are a number of reasons kids cheat, the key to stopping it is to determine why your child is resorting to using this behavior. Here are a few:

• Weak conscience or honest quotient: Character is taking a backseat

• Stress: The push and pressure to excel is huge; maybe too much

• Virtue of honesty lies dormant: Expectation to be honest isn’t emphasized by the family or school

• Laziness: Cheating is the shortcut to success

• No time: The child is so darn overscheduled that there is no time to study

• Fear of failure: The fear of letting down a parent or not getting that scholarship is too strong

• Pressure: It’s a hyper-competitiveness or a high stakes learning environment

• Low skill level: Academic expectations are too high or the child is incapable of work

• Peer pressure: Your child is in with a group that eggs him on or the other kids cheat

• Laziness: The child is allowed to get away with it.

• Honesty is not expected by adults: Coaches push the “score” at any cost, teachers who look the other way, helicopter parents who want the “grade” at any cost.

• Ease & efficiency: The Internet makes it so much easier just to cut and paste.

Cheating and deception are learned early and become entrenched as a habit of “acceptability.” This behavior begins in earnest between the ages of ten to 14, which is when we need to tune in a lot closer. Make no mistake: each time a child is allowed to get away with cheating, his or her conscience takes a ding. Though every kid will try to cut corners, the key is to nip this behavior before it becomes “acceptable.”

If cheating has become a pattern for your child, then you must break it. Every time a child gets away with it, a little more of that honesty fiber is chipped away which is why you must nip this behavior in the bud. Remember” cheating is learned, so too is honesty, which means the reverse is possible. So aim for the reverse: an honest kid.

For specific signs, solutions, responses, and ways to teach honesty to children please turn to The Big Book of Parenting Solutions: 101 Answers to Your Everyday Challenges and Wildest Worries. The chapters: Lying, Stealing, Lazy, Homework, Honesty, Knowing Right from Wrong offer dozens of proven solutions. Meanwhile, do get savvy about the pressures today’s kids face. Let your child know honesty matters more to you than the grade. Push “effort” over “outcome.”

Tune into electronic cheating. Get to know those easy techniques kids use to cheat. Here are just a few: Kids texting answers to peers via cell phones, cut and pasting material from websites, downloading answers onto ipods then slipping earphones under a shirt, taking photos of the test and sending it to a peer in the next class. Parent alert: Do know that over 3000 YouTube videos teach kids ways to cheat. Insist that your child to leave electronics that might tempt cheating at home on test days.

Get more involved in your child’s schoolwork.

• Know your child’s homework, test days and grades. Is he acing tests without studying? Is he really that brilliant?

• Ask about the test. Ask your child: “What were some of the questions on your test today?” If he doesn’t know, it’s usually a red flag.

• Glance over homework. Is he bringing home no homework or too little? Does it look like his writing and his vocabulary or did he possibly “borrow” the answers from a pal?

• Read his papers. Is the reading or vocabulary at your child’s level of understanding or could he possibly be relying too much on the Internet for information and not doing the work himself?  Ask your child for the definition of a term he’s written. Can he define it?

• Ask about the resources. A quick test is see if your child did the work himself (or used the cut and paste model) is to about the sources he used. Does he know the source? Did he read the source?  Is your child able to give you a quick review of the concept without relying on his paper?

In all fairness to the kids, a big reason those cheating statistics are increasing is because of our own blasé response. Beware: if we know our kids cheat and give lip service, it only reinforces their “no big deal” attitude. Let your child know this behavior is unacceptable, goes against your values, and will not be tolerated.

The Big Book of Parenting Solutions: 101 Answers to Your Everyday Challenges and Wildest Worries.