Terrorism. War. School shootings. Pedophiles.  Suicide bombings.Anthrax. Kidnappings. Global warming. Tsunamis.

Let’s face it; we live in frightening times. And if you are feeling a bit jittery about current events, imagine how our kids must feel. Talk of tragedy permeates the world around them. Graphic television images of real disasters just reinforce their fears even more. Think about it. This is the first generation of children who have watched broadcasts of war, terrorist attacks, and school massacres in their living rooms. Make no mistake: the image of the world as a mean and scary place is affecting our kids’ well-being.

Last week I worked with the schools in Hershey, Pennsyvania. It is a glorious Norman Rockwell-type community. Picture perfect. Idyllic. Plain wonderful.  Imagine a place where the street lamps are shaped like Hershey kisses (really!). I spent time talking to groups of students as I always do before speaking to the parents, community and staff. It’s my way of getting a pulse on their concerns. I always ask the principals to give me a sample of the students so the focus group represents all genders, races, cliques, economics. I end up with a princess, a jock, a band kid, a theater student, a student council leader, a misfit. Kids. Great kids. And they open up.

“What are your concerns?” I ask. And they share: Iraq. Iran. Global warming. Terrorism. Violence. Prejudice. So honest. And so often we think they just don’t think about such things. Wrong. And these kids are no different than the hundreds of other teens in this country I’ve talked to in similar focus groups these past few years.

But then there’s also proof. A recent survey conducted by MTV and The Associated Press of over 1300 teens nationwide found that only 25 percent feel safe from terrorism or traveling. The vast majority admitted that their world is far more difficult than mom or dad.  Just consider a child growing up today vs. yesterday. In 1950s kids’ biggest fears were loud noises, snakes, insects, and a parent’s death. Fast forward fifty years later. The most pressing teen stressor is still a parent’s death, but “Violence” has now replaced loud noises and snakes. But the biggest fear of many teens today: “I’ll never live to see the future.” It hurts just to hear it.

The fact is constantly hearing about troubling world events does more than just increase children’s anxiety. It also alters their view of their world. Many child experts are concerns that today’s children are developing what is called “Mean World Syndrome.” It means they perceive their world as a “Mean and Scary Place.”

Of course we can’t protect our kids and assure their safety, but we can help allay those fears and see their world in a more positive light. Studies have shown that about 90 percent of all anxious children can be greatly helped by learning coping skills. Here are a few parenting strategies you can use to help reduce your kids’ anxiety particularly in these uncertain times.

1. Tune Into Your Child’s Anxiety. Start by observing your child a bit closer when a frightening event occurs. For instance: Is your child afraid to be left alone or of being in dark or closed places? Does he have difficulty concentrating or is he excessively irritable? Does she react fearfully to sudden noses, revert to immature behavior patterns, act out or have tantrums, or nightmares? Is he bedwetting, withdrawing, crying excessively, or a experiencing a change in eating or sleeping habits? Each child copes differently, so tune into your child’s behavior. It will help you recognize how your son or daughter deals with life’s pressures.

2. Monitor the “Fear Factor.” Limit your child’s viewing of any news that features an alarming event (such as a kidnapping, pedophile, war footage, bombing, etc). Monitor. Monitor. Monitor! Studies do show that seeing those violent images exacerbates anxiety and increases aggression in some kids. And don’t assume because your kid is older, the news does not affect him. A Time/Nickolodeon study found that preadolescents said that those TV news bulletins that interrupt regular programming were especially disturbing. They admitted being even more anxious if a parent wasn’t there to help explain the event to them. If your kids do watch the news, watch with them to answer their questions. Be there! Also, monitor also your conversation with other adults so your kid doesn’t overhear your concerns. 

3. Keep Yourself Strong. Don’t expect to be able to help allay your kids’ anxiety, unless you’re keeping your own in check. Are you watching what you eat (and reducing anxiety-increasers such as caffeine and sugar), exercising, getting enough rest, seeking the support of friends, or spending a quiet moment alone? Probably not. Remember, you can tell your kids you’re not worried about those world events, but unless your behavior sends the same message your words have no meaning. Our parenting priority must be to keep ourselves and our kids’ strong, and that means we need to reduce our harried, hurried schedules so can model calmness to our kids. So just cut out one thing–be it the book club, the violin lessons (your kid hates anyway), cooking the “gourmet dinner” every night. Your kids mirror your behavior and will be calmer if you are calmer.

4. Be Available. Don’t assume because your child isn’t talking about the latest news tragedy, that he isn’t hearing about it. Chances are he is and he needs to get the facts straight. You are the best source for that information. Your child also needs to know that it is okay to share his feelings with you and that it’s normal to be upset. You might start the dialogue with a simple: “What have you heard?” or “What are your friends saying?” You don’t need to explain more than your child is ready to hear. What’s most important is letting your child know you are always available to listen or answers his concerns.

5. Do Something Proactive As a Family. One of the best ways to reduce feelings of anxiety is to help kids find proactive ways to allay their fears. It also empowers kids to realize they can make a difference in a world that might appear scary or unsafe. Put together a “care package” to send to a soldier overseas (sunscreen, writing paper and pens, CDs, magazines and a hand-written note of appreciation). Or have your kids help you send “hugs” (a teddy bear, crayons, coloring book) to a child who has just lost all her earthly possessions in a flood, tornado, fire or other natural disaster. 

6. Pass on Good News Reports. Draw your child’s attention to stories of heroism and compassion – those wonderful simple gestures of love and hope that people do for one another (that are always at the back page of the paper). Find those stories in the newspaper and share them with your child. You can also encourage your kids to watch for little actions of kindness they saw others do and report them at the dinner table. Many families call those “Good News Repots.” It’s important to assure your children that there’s more to the world than threats and fear. Your actions can make a big difference in helping to send them that message.

7. Teach Anxiety-Reducing Techniques. Anxiety is an inevitable part of life, but in times like these it can be overwhelming. Here are just a few techniques you can help your child learn to use to cope with pressure:

• Self-talk. Teach your child to say a statement inside her head to help her stay calm and handle the stress. Here are a few: “Chill out, calm down.” “I can do this.” “Stay calm and breathe slowly.” Or “It’s nothing I can’t handle.”

• Stress melting. Ask your kid to find the spot in his body where he feels the most tension; perhaps his neck, shoulder muscles, or jaw. He then closes his eyes, concentrates on the spot, tensing it up for three or four seconds, and then lets it go. While doing so, tell him to imagine the stress slowly melting away.

• Visualize a calm place. Ask your kid to think of an actual place he’s been where he feels peaceful. For instance: the beach, his bed, grandpa’s backyard, a tree house. When anxiety kicks in, tell him to close his eyes, imagine that spot, while breathing slowly.

These are tough times for everyone—but especially for our kids. Anxious kids are two to four times more likely to develop depression, and as teens they are much more likely to become involved with substance abuse. Stress symptoms are showing up in kids as young as three years. If your child shows signs of anxiety for more than a few weeks or if you’re concerned, don’t wait. Seek professional help.