

		Building Moral Intelligence Table of Contents While many people in public life decry the lack of character and moral development among our kids, few take this concern further, into the realm of practical steps to address the issue in the lives of real children and youth. Michele Borba has done so in her book Building Moral Intelligence. It's a tool for parents to use in the struggle. - James Garbarino, Ph.D., Cornell University and author of Lost Boys
	Foreword by Thomas Lickona, author of Raising Good Children No parenting book I know of offers so many practical insights, workable strategies, and inspiring stories, books, videos, and other family-friendly resources for intentionally teaching these crucial character strengths. æfrom the foreword by Thomas Lickona, author, Raising Good Children Introduction: The Crisis of Morality and What We Must Do to Save Our Children's Moral Lives Virtue 1: EMPATHY The Crisis in the Development of Empathy Emotional Unavailability of Parents Absence of Supportive Fathers Barrage of Cruel Media Images Raising Boys to Mask Their Feelings Abuse in the Cradle What Is Empathy? Signs of Strong Conscience to Share with Kids How Empathic Are Your Kids? Step 1: Foster Awareness and an Emotional Vocabulary How to Listen to Your Child with Empathy Four Ideas to Help Kids Develop a Stronger Emotional Vocabulary A Story to Tell Kids about Empathy Step 2: Enhance Sensitivity to the Feelings of Others Six Simple Ways to Nurture Kids’ Sensitivity Five Fun Ways to Help Kids Read Nonverbal Emotions Step 3: Develop Empathy for Another Person’s Point of View Three Simple Ways to Increase Children’s Role Taking Abilities Talking About Empathy with Kids Discipline That Builds Empathy Finding Real Ways for Kids to Gain New Point of View What to Do about the Crisis in Empathy Development Virtue 2: CONSCIENCE The Crisis of Weak Conscience Rise of Youth Violence Increase in Peer Cruelty Rise in Youth Stealing Escalation of Youth Cheating Increase in Sexual Promiscuity Rise in Substance Abuse What Is Conscience? Signs of Strong Conscience to Share with Kids Do Your Kids Have a Strong Conscience? Step 1: Create the Context for Moral Growth Six Parenting Practices that Enhance Strong Conscience Are You Walking the Moral Walk? A Story to Tell Kids about Conscience Step 2: Teach Virtues to Strengthen Conscience and Guide Behavior Six Point to Teaching Any Virtue One Hundred Virtues that Enhance Moral Intelligence Three Fun Ways to Cultivate Children’s Virtue Development How to Effective Reinforce Conscience Step 3: Foster Moral Discipline to Help Kids Learn Right from Wrong Talking About Conscience With Your Kids The Four R's of Moral Discipline The Stages of Moral Development Reparations That Help Kids Turn Moral Wrongs Into Rights What to Do about the Crisis of Poor Conscience Virtue 3: SELF-CONTROL The Crisis of Poor Self-control Over-Worked, Stressed-Out Parents Early Abuse and Trauma Glorification of Out-of-Control Behavior in Entertainment Over Reliance on Chemical Restraints Instead of Self-constraints What Is Self-control?: Signs of Self-control to Share with Kids The Stages of Self-control Development How Strong Is Your Child’s Self-control? Step 1: Model and Prioritize Self-control to your Child A Story to Tell about Respect: Ruby Bridges How Well Are You Modeling Self-control to Your Kids? Four Family Practices that Nurture Self-control Step 2: Encourage Your Child to Become His Own Internal Motivator Five Simple Ways to Help Kids Reinforce Themselves for a Job Well Done Eight Ways to Help Kids Control their Spending Urges Praise that Nurtures Self-reliance Step 3: Teach Your Child to Control Urges and Think Before Acting Four Anger Control Strategies That Help Kids in Stressful Situations A Three-Part Formula to Help Kids Control Impulsive Urges: Think: Stop: Act Right What to Do About the Crisis in Poor Self Control Virtue 4: RESPECT The Crisis of Disrespect The Decline of Civility and the Rise of Vulgarity The Fall of the Golden Rule Disrespect for Authority Low Respect for Children What Is Respect?: Signs of Strong Respect to Share with Kids How Respectful Are Your Kids? Step 1: Convey the Meaning of Respect by Modeling and Teaching It A Story to Tell about Respect: Kanesha Sonee Johnson Six Practice That Show Kids Your Respect Them Ten Ways to Show Kids Your Respect and Love Them Three Ways to Teach Kids the Meaning of Respect Talking About Respect with Kids Step 2: Enhance Respect for Authority and Squelch Rudeness Just How Much Media Exposure Are Our Kids Getting? Getting Rid of Disrespectful Behavior Using Signals to Point Out Disrespect Eight Tips to Stop Sassiness, Back Talk, Whining, and Basic Disrespect Step 3: Emphasize Good Manners and Courtesy--They Do Count! Make Family Dinners A Priority 75 Important Manners Kids Should Learn Five Ways to Help Kids Learn New Manners Making Creative Thank You Notes What to Do about the Crisis of Disrespect Virtue 5: KINDNESS The Crisis of Unkindness Lack of Modeling by Parents and Adults Not Enough Encouragement for Kindness Influence of Unkind Peers Densensitization to Kindness What Is Kindness? Signs of Strong Kindness to Share with Kids How Kind Are Your Kids? Step 1: Teach the Meaning and Value of Kindness A Story to Tell about Kindness: Mackenzie Snyder Four Ways to Help Kids Understand Kindness—And It Starts With Us Heart Warmer Statements to Teach Kids A “TIP” For Pointing Out the Impact of Kindness to Kids Talking About Kindness with Kids Step 2: Establish a Zero Tolerance for Meanness and Nastiness The "Heart : Story Four Points That Correct Unkind Behaviors Ten Reasons Why Kids Are Mean Five Ways Schools and Families Are Stamping Out Unkindness The Problem of Bullies Six Ways to Help Kids Counter Unkind Treatment, Taunting, and Prejudicial Slurs Step 3: Encourage Kindness and Point Out Its Positive Effect Helping Children Recognize Kindness Can Make A Difference Helping Kids Think about the Power of Giving Three Ideas to Help Kids Practice Doing Kind Deeds What the Research Says About Parents’ Influence What to Do About the Unkindness Crisis Virtue 6: TOLERANCE The Crisis in Tolerance Development Lack of Moral Monitoring Accessibility of Internal Hate Sites Racially-charged Video Entertainment Aimed at Youth Hate Music Prejudice and Stereotypes Displayed on Television What Is Tolerance? Signs of Strong Tolerance to Share with Kids How Tolerant Are Your Kids? Step 1: Model and Nurture Tolerance From an Early Age How to Block Kids’ From Accessing Internet Hate Sites Six Practices that Help Raise Tolerant Kids Hidden But Dangerous Adult Prejudice and Stereotyping Where to Being: Three Ways to Helps Kids Develop Personal Identity A Story to Tell Kids about Tolerance: Samantha Reed Smith Step 2: Instill an Appreciation for Diversity Talking About Tolerance with Kids Six Ways to Develop Your Child’s Pride in His Culture Expose Your Child Early to Multicultural Literature Five Ways to Develop Positive Attitudes about Diversity Ten Different Ways to Say Welcome Step 3: Counter Stereotypes and Do Not Tolerate Prejudice The Stages of Race Awareness Four Ways to Curtail Prejudice by Teaching Kids to Counter Stereotypes What to Do about the Crisis of Tolerance Development Virtue 7. FAIRNESS The Crisis of Unfairness Early Attachment Problems Breakdown of Role Models Emphasis on Competition Reduction of Unstructured Play What Is Fairness? Signs of Strong Fairness Behaviors to Share with Kids How Strong Is Your Child ‘s Sense of Fairness? Step 1: Treat Your Kids Fairly Five Adult Behaviors That Boost Fairness in Kids Comparisons to Be Avoided How to Avoid Chore Wars and Teach Kids to Help Out Three Essential Fairness Behaviors to Model to Kids Six Principles of Effective Family Meetings to Nurture Fairness Step 2: Help Your Child Learn to Behave Fairly The Stages of Fairness and Justice Three Ways to Foster Sharing in Kids Four Ideas to Help Kids Make Things Fair Nine Things to Do when Kids Say, “That’s Not Fair!” How A Dad Taught His Son to Play Fair: Seven Rules for Playing Fairly Talking About Fairness with Children Step 3: Teach Your Child Ways to Stand Up Against Unfairness and Injustice A Story about Fairness to Tell Kids: Trevor Ferrell Seven Tips to Start Kids Doing Social Justice Projects Matching Your Child’s Interests and Strengths with Social Justice Projects What to Do about the Crisis of Unfairness Dr. Michele Borba is an educational consultant and author who has conducted parent and teacher seminars to over half a million participants. Her latest book is Building Moral Intelligence: The Seven Essential Virtues that Teach Kids to Do the Right Thing (Jossey Bass Publishers). Information on her publications and seminars can be accessed through her Web site, www.moralintelligence.com. © 2001 by Michele Borba. Please contact for permission to reprint.