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Why did you or your group choose to read Building Moral Intelligence? What preconceptions about morality did you have before you began reading? Which of your views were challenged or changed by your reading?
Do you think raising moral kids today is easier, no different, or more difficult than when your parents raised you? Why?
Many people feel there is a "crisis of character" in today's children. Do you? What factors may be preventing children from fully developing their moral intelligence capacities?
A recent nationwide survey found that 93 percent of responding adults believed parents have failed to teach children honesty, respect, and responsibility. How would you have responded?
The book describes seven virtues essential for achieving moral intelligence. Which virtue do you feel is most essential for ethical living? Why? Which do you consider most difficult to nurture? Which virtue do you emphasize most in your family? Least? Which would you like to emphasize more? What could you do to help your children acquire the virtue?
A major theme of the book is that morality is learned and that parents and teachers do make an enormous difference in influencing their children's moral growth. How much influence do you think parents actually have? How did your parents influence your moral development? At what age do you think parents start losing their moral influence? Do you think that the ability to influence kids comes back? If so, at what age? What influences children's moral development most: peers, pop culture, parents, or something else?
Building Moral Intelligence emphasizes that one of the best ways our kids learn moral behaviors is by watching us. How would your child describe your moral behavior? Which virtues best exemplify your character? Which virtue or character trait would you like to strengthen in yourself; how would you do so?
What kind of person do you want your child to become? How will you help your child become that person?
The book emphasizes that children are born with the potential for empathy, but unless it is properly nurtured it will remain dormant. What outside factors are hindering the development of this first essential virtue? What are you doing to enhance empathy in your child? What could you do to enhance this virtue even more?
What factors may be contributing to the rise in peer cruelty and violence? How are you helping your child/students learn self-control?
How important is it to you to have a tolerant child? When you were growing up, how did members of your family demonstrate tolerance toward one another? Can you think of specific instances in which they demonstrated intolerance? What prejudices were passed on to you by your parents? Do you feel you are passing any of these on to your child/students? If so, which ones? What can you do to stop your prejudice from filtering down to your children?
How was discipline handled in your family as you were growing up? How did it affect your moral views? What is the most common method you use to discipline your child ? How effective is it in enhancing her moral growth? What improvements would you like to make?
What are some of the sayings, proverbs, or experiences you recall from your childhood that helped you define your values? How are you passing on your moral beliefs to your child/students? What is the single most important moral belief you would like to instill in your child? What have you done with your child recently to reinforce that conviction?
How committed are you to enhancing your child's moral intelligence? From everything you read, is there one strategy you would like try with your child? Why did you choose it? Describe what you will do and when you will begin.
What would you like your greatest legacy to be for your child/students? What will you do to ensure that your child/students attain that legacy?
Dr. Michele Borba is an educational consultant and author who has conducted parent and teacher seminars to over half a million participants. Her latest book is Building Moral Intelligence: The Seven Essential Virtues that Teach Kids to Do the Right Thing (Jossey Bass Publishers). Information on her publications and seminars can be accessed through her Web site, www.moralintelligence.com.
© 2001 by Michele Borba. Please contact for permission to reprint.
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