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Q: How did you get interested in the subject of moral intelligence?
A: For over two decades I've worked with hundreds of troubled kids as a teacher and educational consultant, and am concerned with the marked increase lately in kids' aggression and cruelty. My research on violent and anti-social youth found that many lack moral intelligence traits-especially empathy and self-control-and the consequences are tragic. While most know their horrific deeds are wrong, they can't feel for their victims nor stop their cruel actions, too often because they never learned critical moral behaviors that would have helped them do the right thing. That's what moral intelligence provides. I wrote the book to provide practical ways to build kids' moral capacities, so they act right, treat others with respect, and have the strength to turn away from risky behaviors and violence. Moral intelligence protects our kids' moral lives.
Q: You say there is a crisis of character in American kids. What is your evidence?
A: There's a number of troubling signs that reveal all is not well with our children's moral intelligence. The United States has the highest youth homicide rates among the 26 wealthiest nations in the world; peer cruelty is steadily increasing; alcohol and drug use is expanding among even our younger kids. In two decades, hyperactivity and attention deficits has risen 700 percent. In the last four decades, adolescent suicide has increased 400 percent, and depression has risen 1,000 percent. There's also growing disrespect for authority figures; the rise of incivility; the increase of vulgarity; and widespread dishonesty and cheating. Kids are clearly troubled, and one big reason is we've neglected to build their moral intelligence.
Q: What's causing such a decline in our children's moral capacities?
A: The causes are complex, yet one fact is undeniable: the environment we're raising our kids' in is toxic to their moral growth for two reasons. First, a number of critical elements that nurture moral capacities are disintegrating: adult supervision, models of moral behavior, spiritual or religious training, meaningful adult relationships, personalized schools, clear national values, community support, stability, and adequate parenting. Second, the popular culture is steadily bombarding kids with messages that go against the values we are trying to instill. No one factor is to blame, but the accumulation of factors is contributing greatly to our kids' moral decline.
Q: What is moral intelligence and how can it benefit our youth?
A: Moral intelligence is the capacity to understand right from wrong; it means to have strong ethical convictions and to act on them so that one behaves in the right and honorable way. It encompasses such characteristics as the ability to empathize; to stop oneself from acting on cruel intentions; to control one's impulse; to listen openly before judging; to respect differences; to decipher unethical choices; to stand up for injustice; and to treat others with compassion. Moral I.Q. is the one ability we seem to be under-developing in our kids, yet it's the one they'll need most as they journey into the unpredictable, often cruel, and sometimes violent new century.
Q: What are the seven essential virtues that enhance kids’ chances to do the right thing?
A: Moral intelligence consists of seven essential virtues-empathy, conscience, self-control, respect, kindness, tolerance, and fairness-that help kids navigate through the ethical challenges they will inevitably face throughout life. While there are other virtues-400 in all-these seven are the ones that matter most in helping kids do the right thing. Thus, I call them "the essential seven."
Q: Are there any virtues more important than others in developing moral intelligence?
A: Yes! Three virtues form the foundation of moral intelligence: empathy, conscience, and self-control. In truth, they are so critical to moral intelligence, that I call them "the moral core." When any one of the three is underdeveloped, the child is left morally defenseless against toxic influences coming his way; when all three of the core elements are weak, the child becomes a time bomb just waiting to explode. A solid core is crucial to developing children's moral intelligence because it gives kids the power to counter vices so that they do what's right. Once those are solidly laid, the remaining four virtues can be added.
Q: How did you determine which virtues matter most in raising moral kids?
A: I interviewed dozens of experts, observed hundreds of students in both the United States and abroad and surveyed over 10,000 teachers. I found a trend: seven virtues were consistently named as critical to ethical living by researchers, parents, experts, and educators. They became the seven essential virtues.
Q: But there are parenting books about moral development. How is this book different?
A: There are books that help parents understand moral development and literature anthologies to cultivate moral imaginations. But in these troubling times, parents need far more if they are to succeed in helping their kids buck the steady barrage of immoral messages they receive. They need to know how to help their kids not only think morally but also act morally, and unless children know how to act right, their moral development is defective. After all, the true measure of character rests in actions--not in mere thoughts. Building Moral Intelligence provides ways to teach kids critical moral behaviors so they do act as well as think right.
Q: How do you expect parents to find time to teach these virtues to their kids?
A: Research says learning new habits usually take at least three weeks. So I tell parents to choose any virtue they think is important and reinforce virtue's habits for that month. A virtue a month is more realistic and there's also a greater likelihood that the child will actually learn a new moral behavior.
Q: How old should kids be when parents start teaching these virtues?
A: Parents should start when their kids are toddlers when the rudiments of moral habits-such as exercising self-control, being fair, showing respect, sharing, and empathizing-are first acquired. The mistake parents often make is waiting until their kids are older to begin. Delaying only increases children's potential for learning destructive negative habits and make it so much harder to change. The sooner we begin, the greater chance we have to build solid moral habits.
Q: What makes Building Moral Intelligence stand out as a book that parents must read?
A: First, everything is research-based: these are the seven virtues research says matter most in raising moral kids. Second, the activities were presented to hundreds of parents and teachers. Finally, these techniques were field-tested with 1040 students for a year. Wright State University analyzed the results and found a marked improvement in students' moral behaviors: 93 percent or more of teachers said students were more courteous, kind, respectful, and cooperative. And the activities caused a 39 percent reduction in student physical and verbal aggression. The activities are proven, simple to use, and will make a difference on our kids’ moral lives if they are consistently taught. And we don't have a moment to waste.
Dr. Michele Borba is an educational consultant and author who has conducted parent and teacher seminars to over half a million participants. Her latest book is Building Moral Intelligence: The Seven Essential Virtues that Teach Kids to Do the Right Thing (Jossey Bass Publishers). Information on her publications and seminars can be accessed through her Web site, www.moralintelligence.com.
© 2001 by Michele Borba. Please contact for permission to reprint.
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